Archive for the ‘Work’ Category.

A colloquium on evil

When I came to the Valley, I didn’t expect to get much use out of my impractical (but, I hope, tasteful!) philosophy education. But in fact, my cow orkers have a delightfully high density of interest in the metaphysics of ethics. Behold my whiteboard:

A discussion of the nature of evil
What Kant didn’t say is that a universal moral rule should be at least as tasty and nutritious as pure evil.
Also, for the record, I misspelled “flocculates” in my contribution.

In the cubicle of Bosch

The cubicle of Bosch
Click for a larger version

Recently, some of my colleagues (not me, and I’m not entirely sure who) wallpapered the cube of one of my vacationing cow-orkers with sticky notes. The only camera I had handy to document the result was the one built into my cell phone, which does not quite have the kind of optics that accommodate wide-angle shots. I figured I’d just moasic the results together. Then, I remembered that I was taking all of the shots from different spots, but I seemed to recall a “Perspective” tool in the GIMP that I could maybe use to correct for that, and map the cube onto a two-dimensional window using some kind of projection.

It all went horribly wrong, but the nightmarish distortion of perspective was somehow compelling in a Bosch-via-surrealism way.

I also used a freely-available packaged panorama stitcher, hugin, which gave less jarring (thanks to better color blending) but no less disorienting a result:

Better picture of Bosch's cube
Click here for larger version

Milk and honey and tequila

California is an amazing place on many levels. The most primal, though, is that for much of the year you can sit under a tree and literally have food fall into your lap. This paradisaical arrangement, in Punam’s and my particular case, has given rise to the question “what should we do with N pounds of fruit, as N approaches infinity, where fruit ∈ {plum, lemon, pear, apple, apricot, tangerine}?”

A plethora of plums, an abundance of alstomeria, a lot of lemons
A plethora

To date, we have only really had to deal with the plums and the lemons. The plethora of plums mostly became jam; we harvested something near 15 kilos* of whole plum fruit this year (from one tree!) and made many gallons of extraordinarily tasty jam. Through the two weeks of productive plum harvest, I enjoyed walking into the shade of the tree, pulling off a low-hanging fruit, and washing it in our outdoor sink, then eating it with syrup-dripping gusto… when plums were domesticated, that is what our ancestors had in mind. No store-bought plum can ever hope to compete with one eaten thirty seconds and twenty feet away from the tree it grew on. It’s revelatory.The lemons? Our lemon tree yields more than we can use, perhaps a dozen a week all summer. Many have gone into drinks, food, and even decoration. In particular, I have had occasion to experiment with substituting lemons into margaritas, in the place of the usual limes. We normally perceive lemons as significantly more sour than limes, thus necessitating an Amateur Science Hour!

I started with a lime-based, commercial, margarita recipe: juice of half a lime, amounting to about two parts; one part (.5 fl oz, the top of my small cocktail shaker) Triple Sec, three parts tequila — note the prominence of the tequila in this recipe, which begs for at least a reasonable quality tequila. I added the ingredients to a cocktail shaker with plenty of ice and shook until the temperature of the whole shaker was uniformly cold and the corners of the ice cubes had worn away, based on the sound the made as they bounced off the shaker (thanks to Jeff at Sarticious for the tip). I then poured the resuting mixture through the shaker’s strainer top into a salted glass.

I tried this recipe with two widely-available tequilas: Cabo Wabo and 1800 Reposado. While both versions were a lot more acidic than I would prefer a margarita to be, the Cabo Wabo-based version was clearly better. I also tried making sure I had plenty of salt in each sip; with the deep acidity of the lemons and the characteristic bitter and tart flavors of the tequila, more salt was basically better, bringing out more flavor, nearly up to the point where I was drinking brine. I will never ask for a salt-free margarita again, given the clear benefits of enough salt to last the whole drink. The tequila flavors really emerged with the help of salt, and their complementary relationship to the citrus was exquisitely heightened.

More sweetness was obviously called for, though. My first thought was to increase the amount of Triple Sec, which (as liqueurs are by definition) is very sugary, around 38% by volume according to this source. I tried a 2:3 Triple Sec:tequila mixture and found that I was hiding the better part of the flavors of the tequila and the fresh citrus; this was less objectionable when I was using the less-flavorful 1800 tequila, but still not really ideal. The correct path, then, seemed to be adding some sugar.

I tried adding about a a generous pinch — maybe a quarter-teaspoon? — of granulated sugar, and I also tried twice that amount. The latter was a bit treacly, making me want more salt. A pinch of sugar was plenty, giving a well-balanced and complex margarita with abundant citrus but a central place for a well-complemented tequila. Both the 1800 and the Cabo Wabo-based margaritas turned out fine.

And so I have come to the conclusion that when I am taking advantage of the fruit of my backyard, a margrita composed of around one part Triple Sec, 3 parts fresh lemon juice, 3 parts good tequila, and a generous pinch of sugar, shaken over ice and served in a glass with a thoroughly salted rim, is a fine way to appreciate abundance, an excellent way to celebrate each perfect day in paradise (as you’ll soon see when I roll out the Silicon Valley weather widget shortly). The offices of the Valley’s tech companies are constructed on some of the best agricultural land in the world, and each perfect margarita and each delcious slice of jammy toast I eat remind me that I need to justify that replacement. What a motivator!

Still figuring out what to do with those apples and pears, and thinking cider/perry. Recommendations are welcome in the comments.

*Claims have been made that “gangsta rap” “glorifies” drug dealing. I’d have disagreed with that claim until quite recently; Ghostface and Raekwon have since made a convincing case: that, given that a kilo is a thousand grams, “it’s nice to have a thousand fans;” and that unlike mainstream chemists, crack lab chemists are “brolic” (Ghostface feat. Raekwon, “Kilo.” In Ghostface Killah, ed., Fishscale. Def Jam: New York, 2006).

How about some cheese to go with that whine?

That’s quite a whine you’re serving. It definitely exhibits a classic Santa Cruz Mountains style - dare I say terroir? Perhaps the whine tradition in Silicon Valley is young, compared to say in the antique French whining regions, but it is concentrated, especially in these last twenty years. I can almost smell the eucalyptus trees outside the window near your cube as I contemplate your whine here. But the astringency, even bitterness, seems to call for a little more time in the cellar. Let’s put that whine down for just a year or two, and when we come back to it, I think it will have improved quite a bit.

Career days, office predators

Today, on mcsweeneys.net, a homerun from Mike Richardson-Bryan:

TAKE A BAG OF FERAL CATS TO WORK DAY—This one is a real stumper. Whatever the original purpose was, it surely must have been miscommunicated or misinterpreted somewhere along the line.

It set me to thinking. The logic behind “Take our Daughters/Children to Work Day” has always puzzled me, in that I can’t imagine inflicting my job on anyone I love, especially on an excitable small child or bored teenager. The rewards of a career in software are completely opaque to anyone who’s not already grown up, and by the time your children have grown up, taking them to work can only endanger them: they may be mistaken for interns.

Richardson-Bryan’s premise reminds me of a proposal I once drafted to bring a population of human-eating carnivores into the office. The idea is that we’re always approaching our merely professional problems as if they’re life-and-death, so being in constant danger of predation would ensure that we’d keep a realistic perspective. I never got around to sending that memo to HR, which is probably for the best, as we’re getting low on cubicle space anyway. A family of wolves would need at least two six-by-eights with a large doggy door between them. We’re out of doggy doors in the supply area, and I can’t see getting one into the Q2 budget at this point. Adult male saltwater crocodiles can grow to be sixteen feet long, so they’d be terribly uncomfortable in any cube. Also, we’d run out of salt. A very small tiger could probably live in the false ceiling, stalking the plenum spaces and pouncing onto unwary employees. My allergies, though, make me hesitant to recommend a feline.hippo always hogs the Polycom And hippopotami, though undeniably effective killers, are bad for office morale. As you can see, they’re always on the phone with their friends, eating hay and watching the clock.

Maybe wolves in Q4, or a salty in a conference room Q1 2007?