entirely safe and fun

I maded you a latte, but i drink’d it.

I remember, back in 1996, making a trip to Seattle and getting my first really expertly-prepared coffee drink at some random coffee place. It had a beautiful leaf pattern formed from the interaction of the foam and the coffee, a silky texture, and both milk and espresso in every sip. Sadly, I had already left the store before I had a chance to realize what I had in my cup and to go back to see how it was done, and my subsequent efforts to match it all fell short. I stopped getting milky coffee drinks almost altogether — not that there’s anything wrong with plain espresso, but I didn’t get a lot of variety in my coffee diet, and I drink a lot of coffee.

When I came to Silicon Valley back in ‘03, the stars began their slow trip to rightness. My employers have a really top-notch prosumer espresso machine, a Pasquini Livia 90 semiauto. This allowed me to begin experimenting with coffee extraction and with the purchase of better beans; occasionally I would essay to steam some milk, usually poorly, with a big ol’ pile of bubbles on top.

Then, Punam and I met Anna, and Anna introduced us to Barefoot Coffee Roasters, where her friend Avery (of “post-industrial folk noir” act Corpus Callosum) worked and still works. Barefoot is no Seattle-chain, manned with untrained high-schoolers; it is an artisan roastery, and a place where coffee is Serious Business. Every drink that involves steamed milk and some pigmented liquid gets “latte art,” a little heart or leaf or other flourish. Even a macchiato, a drink with virtually no milk at all, gets a nicely-formed spot in the middle. And there’s the Whim of the Barista — putting your life in the hands of whoever is behind the bar, with the only guarantee being that whatever you’ll drink isn’t on the menu… excellent.

At any rate, Avery occasionally teaches a class (it should be noted that it’s a hands-off class, consisting of Avery talking and demonstrating) on how to make a latte the right way. Since I attended that class, and the stars came right, I have gotten pretty consistent at making latte art myself. It’s one of those skills that’s just about impossible to pick up by reading *, but not too tough to get by watching. Avery asked for feedback when attendees saw him again, and I’ve told him that I learned what I needed from the class, but I figured that twenty pictures were worth twenty thousand words. Sorry for the quality — they’re all phonecam pictures.

*But here’s how it’s done: For the moment, we’ll assume you’ve got the espresso extraction part down. Use a cold steaming pitcher – cold pitchers and cold milk mean more time to foam. Put into a reasonably sized pitcher about 4-6 ounces of milk. I’ve had my best success with milkfat percentages between 2% and 6%, but skim (for the Flavorless Latte) and half-and-half (for a breve) have worked OK too. Purge liquid water from the steam wand, then turn off the steam. Put the steam outlets just below the surface of the milk and tilt the pitcher to give yourself plenty of surface area. Turn on the steam and establish a whirlpool effect. Do not blow bubbles! It’s OK if the milk surface occasionally goes up and down and puts a bubble or two into the milk. Monitor the pitcher, and when the temperature gets to about 120°F, plunge the steamer wand into the bottom of the pitcher to finish warming the milk to whatever temperature you find tastiest. No more foaming at this point! Turn off the steam when the milk is warm enough, say about 130°F. Swirl the milk in the pitcher. If you’ve done this right, there should be no pile of foam in the middle, but a smooth silky foam that climbs the sides of the pitcher along with the milk. Rap the pitcher on the table to work out any large bubbles. Now, to pour. Tilt the cup with the coffee already in it to about 45° and aim the spout at the middle of the cup. Pour until there’s a white spot. As soon as you see that, start vibrating your hand to keep the foam pouring out. Swing the pitcher slightly from side to side and slowly untilt the cup, so that each pass of the swinging pitcher pushes back the previous bits of foam. Once the cup is horizontal, bring the pitcher to the center of the cup and run a line back through the back-and-forth lines. This will make either a heart or a leaf, depending on how aggressive you’ve been with the back-and-forth and with the push back.