entirely safe and fun

It may also mean “no bowties”

Shipping and industrial outfitters ULINE offer, for the bargain price of $16, a roll of 500 3″x4″ stickers of intially unclear function — at any rate, they are anti-penguin. They offer quantity discounts for larger purchases.

My first thought: At one sticker per ten feet (penguins are apparently somewhat nearsighted on land, but let’s suppose that that’s a good spacing), you could mark an enormous area which needs to be kept penguin-free — you’d have nearly a ten-mile perimeter to work with — for as little as $130 plus shipping.

It occurred to me, though, that the more likely application for these stickers was to mark containers as being full of whatever the opposite of a penguin is. You could use them to label for shipment things such as:

• Aristotle’s conception of arete
• Fischer’s 1972 match against Spassky
• Exactly two oak leaves
• The succession techniques of lost martial arts
• Navigational buoys for the inbound port side of channels
• Epiphenomena
• Back issues of Soldier of Fortune
• Gödel’s results on incompleteness
• Flan
• Shipping, itself

Thanks to Doomstalk for the link.